Not to speak out of emotions

Neither through well ordered thoughts

But to wipe it aside

And clean up the way

For the flow of words can rise up

From the indefinite well inside of you

Fed by love

Today I asked myself

How can I help God?

And before you call the inquisition

And me a heretic

Allow me to say

That I would never ever be a blasphemer

In fact I write this in an honest motivation of abjection

Yet, please think about it

If they are right when they say

That the creator started the whole thing called

Life

To experience her/him/itself through this creation

Which includes two sides

A cosmos that emerges

And beings who

Undoubtedly become aware of It and themselves

Than there is this huge responsibility and freedom

That I am not only part of the plan but also its  destiny

Because

At the same time cosmos follows the laws of self organisation

We follow the light

And our body is both, part of the outer universe and host of an inner

Consciousness

And both sides are there to go back where it began

To God

So why not consciously invite herhimit to experience the whole experiment

And that is what I did

I invited the spirit to use my inner and outer consciousness

To experience life at the point I am right now

And what should I say?

I leave you with a smile

„Fuck phlegm!“

Melancholy

small heartbeats

to give just enough life to feel love and pain

–

like ice melting at the core of yourself

memories of missed chances in the future

streaming down in the gap

between life and death

In this moonless night

Billions of stars shining bright

God kissed me

And I got herpes

There is a dandelion in our street,

that pushed its way through concrete.

Have you ever wondered, why it found its way?

Despite this firm dark layer above it, when it was born.

No life around its seed.

And still the plant does its job.

To grow and unfold.

Towards the air, it can not breath?

What hopeless hours in loneliness.

And still it strives.

To the light it can not see?

So how come it still abides?

Even in most despaired times.

A call from god?

Or  to fulfil its pure and holy self?

To be and live.

 After a sleepless night

And your breath so tight

The taste of grief

And then no belief

The dude does mind

You see no way out

Your heart out of bound

Wrong way thoughts

And your nerves are fraught

Then the dude does mind

It’s a dead end life

On the edge of a knife

This sharp loneliness

And no fucking goddess

Then the dude does mind

And he feels assigned

To say something consoling

„Fuck it, let’s go bowling!“

Oh conformity

You most sadistic way of

Solitude

As you pretend freedom

And offer sameness

As you make people believe

In your lukewarm style

To be special if one behaves like

everyone else

and the one fights for this freedom

of being a duplicate

and combat the other

who is showing  a scratch

in the hour of truth

you disappear with a smile

leaving your prey behind

like a fish on the shore

and you wave goodbye

in a most polite tone

“thanks for shopping!”

the feeling

of separation

of not belonging

of being the center of your world

of you against them

and not being understood

is an illusion

and underneath this rug

you can read this line

stating

sorry, but you are not alone.